I struggle with the urge to reject all labels. As entities and players on this physical map; my belief is that we are far superior than we give ourselves credit for. Unlimited in choice, form, and action; there is so much that we can be.
Many however pride and often fight to adorn both title and designation. “We are so and so” or “I am this type of person”. A sense almost that the label provides an understanding outwardly and inwardly; a placement amongst the grand order and scheme of things.
It plays into how we value worth, and labelling in certain ways emboldens or undercuts our standing. Sometimes the label is applied by another, and often it is also applied to ourselves. Born into a system, we view ourselves from that lens and explain ourselves using the same mechanisms.
Some key dynamics we inhabit and identify within are gender based (feminism, sexuality, societal roles), economics based (capacity, intelligence, vocation), religious based (big picture, purpose), race related (lineage, skin color), and even to do with appearance (health, vitality, beauty).
Using these labelled dynamics we can explain how we relate or do not to the societies we come from. They can serve as symbols of pomp to bolster our prowess, while they can also serve as identifiers of intersectionality portraying faced prejudice.
We view our struggles and triumphs much through commonly discussed modalities, and as many boxes as are present for us to potentially inhabit; they are still limited in scope. The only box, if any at all, my heart dreams to inhabit is my own; unencumbered by a label which says I am any such thing.
From the point of view of prejudice and identifying inequity I can see the importance of ubiquitous delineation. When it comes to self identification however, I believe true growth is a transcendence of words altogether; no box to clip these wings.
The person you are serves as a function and as itself. For the times you play the roles you choose to; take them on, yet remain unbound to them. It is not that you are nothing in their absence, but that you have so much more potential and nuance than can be put forward in a few syllables.
Descriptors can be appealing because of our difficulty to fathom unfamiliarity. Scared of what is new, more often than not we hold onto devil’s that we know. Being something is preferable to being nothing; the only choice our fear allows us to posit.
In being something do we have worth, and that is important, because if we are worthy we will have a place to belong. Even in negative worth, we are given a designation; albeit a painful answer to the age old search of who we are. So much of the human journey is characterized by separation and understanding why?
Secularly we can view it starting with separation from the mother, and a subliminal desire to return to a nourishing space. Spiritually it can be viewed as a separation from the grander Self, and how we often feel that grace is absent from our circumstances. There is a place within us we desire to fill, and it is often a journey before we realize that the one who must fill that void is ourself.
Having said the above, I am reminded of a person who breaks their leg. Yes it is preferable to walk; but for the broken, we often need a cast, a wheelchair, and then crutches. We struggle through stages and pain, long before we have the opportunity to run again; if that is indeed an outcome we are able to achieve.
Healing is a process, just like finding ourselves is a process too. Labels serve as a crutch to facilitate the journey to a discovery of authentic self. An intermediary step, before one can truly become. So while I struggle with the idea of them, I also understand; it is acceptable to exercise patience as we move to more knowing spaces.
Separation is a mindset, more than a reality. The belonging we are looking to receive needs to be accepted, even more than given. Comprehending ourselves and the miles we have left in our wake; it becomes clear that simply by existing, are we worthy.
The only label that is capable of describing you best, is you. Taken a final step further, it is I.
~Frumi
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